welcome to my world....

its hectic!!! lol

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

school

im stuck in this room
with the i's and the u's
and the p's and the q's
and the shapes and the fractions
and the the masses of crepe paper
and the sounds of distant laughter
getinng louder and louder
and a mound of crumpled worksheets
piled high on the desk and tables
rolls of sticky labels
and storybooks and fables
leaky taps and dirty sinks
laminators on the blink
pencils on the floor
and messy scribbles on the board
ticking clocks and coloured walls

this mess and clutter i adore


using lots of conjusctions was my idea of portraying the way that some children write from a yound age and how they learn how to put sentences together
i tried to include sounds and sights because these are the main ways that children learn

Monday, November 20, 2006

better off!

fly far away
from this land i call home
take a giant leap of faith on myself
its not til uv lost it
that you realise what youve got
i never had anything anyway
to throw away
just my smile and this trust
and now that your gone

i beleive again
i can see again
im me again!

its like fresh air
no weight on my shoulders
your chance you blew it
and now my life is mine!
so here il go and prove it
im an independant woman

and im better off without you

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

regret- facing up to reality

he pulled up a chair,
he knew i was there,
and just subtley looked
at me over his shoulder,
he knew this presence was felt,
and my body got colder,
i looked in the bottom of my glass,
and stayed there drinking,
and all the while thinking,
god i wish i wasnt here,
disappear,
for more than a minute,
my head is now spinning,
and i want to go home,
i feel rather sick now,
and regret what i have done,
face to face with reality,
i feel a victim.

the peculiar things

dont you sit and wonder,
about these peculiar things asunder,

like how the government is such a blunder,
how the streets are filled with terror,
yobs are shooting them for pleasure,
and the sky is filled with heavy thunder,

or how that life in your stomach is kicking,
or how true love can last forever,
never sinking,
the old couple on the porch drinking lemonade,
in the summer sunshine,
how the rays bring out the best times,

dont you often sit and wonder.

blabbermouth

my verbal constipation gets the best of me,
lets me be too open,
and honest for my own good,
makes me shout out what i should,
and the things that are best kept schmut,

and so here we go again,
saying these things i shouldnt say,
in ways disasterously portrayed,
here i go and fuck it up again

hmmm

and the world goes round,
we dont make a sound,
silent screams never heard,
not a word, not a word,

and we're uncomfortable and irritated,
so irate, not best to imitate

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

fairytale dreams

cause you fell on your face
and lost the plot,
dosent mean that youll get shot,
these fairytales that you believe in,
seem to make more sense with meaning,
and days are spent
recovering your childhood feelings,

place myself in cinderellas shoes..
well one of them anyways,
wait for the prince to come and save me,
prince charming will protect me!
or i could just find my other damn shoe,
and go on without him!
still gain my happy ending!

yeah another fairytale,
that im liking the sound of,
everything works out fine
i can have it all,
without having to rely on anyone!

and i build my own city,
with hopes and dreams,
then everything turns out as it should be,
me in my big castle living my life free :)

alishas attic- i am, i feel

He said: "Angel put that purple skirt on, y'know it makes me hot"
He said: "Come on, Come on, get on, get up, look like
You're enjoying my company",
Oh and he said: "You can't change the world,
yr'another one of my fools
You were born to have my baby now.
Don't cry my precious one, coz
I ain't got no sympathy for you"
And I am, I feel, like
I wanna bite his head off
Yeah that'd be fun
Coz I sure got an appetite
I click my heels together three times
They sparked a little, but nothing happened
And the big bad wolf's still in my bed

I am, I feel
(I sometimes think that you forget) that
I am, I feel
I got to get away from here
I am, I feel
This girl's a person y'know
I am, I feel

Oh he said: "Angel your halo ain't fitted that good for a little while now
You ain't got that certain glow that I get a kick out of"
(Like it bothered me)
I'm taking it on the chin, with a grin
But my feet are itchin' and itchin',
He says: "Don't cry my precious one
Coz I ain't got no sympathy for you"

And I am, I feel, like
I wanna smash his face in
Yeah! That'd be fun
Coz I sure got a fist for a fight

I click my heels together three times
They sparked a little, but nothing happened
And the big bad wolf's still in my bed

And I am, I feel
(I sometimes think that you forget) that
I am, I feel
I got to get away from here
I am, I feel
And this girl's a person y'know
I am, I feel

Well it's had to get through it when you're knockin' on wood
And I got to thinkin' I was worth more than he put on my boots
I got a soul if you get down to the roots

I am, I feel
(I sometimes think that you forget) that
I am, I feel
I got to get away from here
I am, I feel
And this girl's a person y'know
I am, I feel

I am, and I feel

I am, and I feel

I am, I feel
This girl's a person y'know

I am, I feel

I am, I feel

(I sometimes think that you forget) that
I am, and I feel
I got to get away from here
I am, I feel
And this girl's a person y'know...

gym class heroes- everydays forecast

You think you know, but you have no idea
This is the diary of a breathing onomanopia

Now here's another broken link for anyone who thinks my life's together
I rock a raincoat despite the pleasant weather
God's placed a permanent dark cloud above my head
But he was nice enough to loan me a holy umbrella
Well thank ya fella,
How considerate
I'm the illegitimate son of accident-prone degenerates
Today's forecast partly cloudy with a good chance of rain
So I wear my sarcasm badge proudly and
Flash a devilish grin
That'll make the most masculine Men skeptical of his existence
And when the rain begins, I take a seat to retire and admire the spectacle
From a distance
For instance, there was this cat the other day shootin me ice grills
But when I looked, he looked the other way
Now any other day
Wouldn't let this type of shit bother me
Today it was enough to make my lucky charms soggy
So finally I stepped to him
Kindly disrespected him
Looked him dead in the eyes and analyzed how it effected him
He broke down in tears talkin bout how Jesus neglected him

Make this rain go away
Things would be much better
I swear, I swear
If the sun would come out today
Life would be more worthwhile, worthwhile,

And all it took was a sewing needle to deflate my swollen ego
Then pop pop went my God Complex
I never thought 19 yrs after my first breath I'd be in art school surrounded
By corny fucks debating who's more depressed
I'm 21 now, and still can't deal with what's real
But I'll be damned if I give up and settles for pills
Daddy taught me better
Mommy taught me how to crack 40's and jack 6 packs in oversized sweaters
And one time my mother changes
So I'm in the rain waiting
For the flood gates to open
Impersonating my favorite VH1 Behind the Music tragedy
Catastrophe never tasted so acidic before
I'm PH balanced
For the floor? But strong enough to stay a float
And doggy paddle long enough to catch that
Life preserver rope
And then I'll be on a parallel ladder laughin like,
Damn my man, for the love of Pete what happened

And finally I step to you
Kindly disrespect you
Looked you dead in the eyes and analyzed how it affected you
Watch you break down in tears talkin bout how J
Esus neglected you
Misdirected the definition of pitiful

Make this rain go away
Things would be much better
I swear, I swear
If the sun would come out today
Life would be more worthwhile, worthwhile,

Yo, you ever watch a whole day wash away like your
Very last match that got wet the second you struck it
Well go ahead relieve your stress, kick bucket all you want,
A cigarette that never mattered's all you stuck with

You ever watch a whole day wash away like your
Very last match that got wet the second you struck it
Well go ahead relieve your stress, kick bucket all you want,
A cigarette that never mattered's all you stuck with

Make this rain go away
Things would be much better
I swear, I swear
If the sun would come out today
Life would be more worthwhile, worthwhile,

You think you know, but you have no idea
This is the diary of a breathing anomanopia

students haha!

i watch the clouds to pass the time
i write these poems and make these rhymes
i sit and watch the people greet
i sit and watch the lovers meet

i watch the sun as it starts to set
i write these stories of life and regret
i sit and watch the lecturers teach
i sit and watch the students sleep

i watch the moon patiently as it shines
i write these songs with passion and fire
i sit and watch the janitors clean
i sit and watch the teachers leave

i sit and write and watch my words flow
in this atmosphere my second home.

addicted

im so addicted to this
god i just cant help myself
its like a drug
coursing through my veins
taking a hold
lifes never been the same
my crushed soul
and broken limbs
its so wrong
such a sin
but i carry on
not thinking of the consequences
not realising its making me change
this person is not me anymore
if it was
i would have already walked out the door
your my addiction
and things are never gonna change.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

how i feel

i want to be able to breathe
sweet air in my lungs
but all i have are these cigareetes
this addiction that i cant quit

i want to have a clear mind
calm and collected
but all i have are these demons
that do nothing but hassel me

i want to be able to see
the most beautiful things
but all i have is blindness
covered with fog and haze

i want to be able to speak
luscuious words leaving my lips
but my mouth is tight shut
afraid of their meanings

i want to be able to hear
them bittersweet symphonies
but my ears are covered up
protected from harsh sound

i want to.
to.
say how i feel.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

slideshow

Monday, March 27, 2006

christopher

it used to feel like heaven
used to feel like
i had a spring in my shoes
used to spend so much time together
and every minute i spent with you
i heard the orchestra play
and the butterflies whizz around in my stomach
it felt so magical
but god i never knew
how blind and crazy
love really makes you

why didnt anyone tell me
the way these emotions are truely work?
i thought love was supposed to be
like it was on the silver screen
but instead this love now hurts
it was supposed to be like poetry
or the sweetest sung love song
supposed to make me feel alive
so strong
but now all it feels is wrong

so.... where did it end?
where did it all fall apart
to be honest i havent a clue
i couldnt see clearly all along
my head so high in the clouds
never saw the problems right in front of me
but now i see maybe three years on
how i loved you and how you loved me

brain fuse

the rain falls on my head
and i feel soaked through
walking soggy
feeling blue
i think of you
i think of you
do you feel this too?
do you feel this too?

its getting late and darker
the sun it seems to fade
i close my eyes think harder
whats going on in my head?
do you feel this too?
do you feel this too?

storms

muted screams
deadly silence
loving glances
missed by anger
soft touches
brushed away
sun covered by
dark clouds
and rainy days

lost notes

as she plays piano
she dries her eyes
the notes she strikes
play on her mind
as she plays a C
and dosent hear him play
she starts to wonder
whether one day....

we realise, we know

so i feel the sand between my toes
as we walk along that beach called home
cause we feel connected by the waves
that gently settle as we stroll
and as we feel the breeze flow through our hair
we realise its love
dear god its love

and so the sun slowly sets
and as we watch the stars begin to shine
we dream just to pass the time
just to pass the time together
and so we smile at each other
no words need be used
cause we know dear god we know

anomie

dreaming im living in a daze
this blur and haze
it makes my eyes sore
and my mouth numb
to whats really going on

ill live in anomie
yeah ill live in my own world
not yours

cause reality is too clear
an air to breathe
and the light it hurts
my eyes
so ill hide in my room
with my fantasy and lies

the last

the last drop from the bottle is spilled
the last time that my glass is filled
the last time that i feel life fulfilled

the last cigarette that burnsto the butt
the last time that smoke fills my lungs with crap
the last time that i feel my body filled from that last toke

i choked

the last time that the pills
were taken
were taken
was the last time

they'll....

theyll feel it
theyll feel it
theyll feel the tension

theyll breathe it
theyll breathe it
theyll breathe the stench
of silent mentions

theyll see it
theyll see it
theyll see the missed glances
of attention

theyll hear it
theyll hear it
theyll hear the silent screaming

i cant

i cant feel your touch
im numb
i cant hear your voice
im deaf
i cant taste your kisses
their dead
i cant see your face
its pale
i cant move your hand
i cant let go of this

too much to forgive
too much to forget
youve lost my respect
but my love kills me
endless

what to do?

i think im falling
falling out of love with you

i think im crawling
crawling away from you

i think im tearing
tearing my heart in two

i think im brwaling
brawling with my mind to keep you

faded

my hand slips from yours
but you dont look back
what is wrong?
we arent strong
maybe its best if we leave this alone
just go home
cry into my pillow
time cant fix this
finally my heart admits it

super hero

i left a message
"im giving up my 9-5 and becoming a superhero"
so i went off on my own way
to save the world from emos!
no more moody faces
"im here to save the day
with my kick ass punk rock ways!"

ooh im bringing back the smile
and wiping away the eyeliner
im saving the mixed up people
and giving them something to feel good to!
so get you ass to my show
and rock out like youve lost it!

break up

your wineing and wingeing
is sending me to sleep
i dont want to know your useless facts
and even less your childish gossip
so free me from this room
before you drive me fucking crazy

i think we need to break up
i think we need to split
you have a nice body
but jesus christ you can talk for years
i think my minds going to explode!

so this is goodbye no rephrase that
good riddance to you
i have finally shifted the load
you used to be my goddess
you used to be my siren
but now dear god
your just doing my head in

a nobel adventure

he drew his sword
and gave a piercing glare
heart racing
waiting for the moment
he just wants to close his eyes
wake up to find its all just in his mind

friends

as the sun sets
and we light the fire
out troubles fade and fly away
like ashes from the flames
the sand between our toes
good friends all alcohol fuelled
having a laugh
singing all the while
to our favourite songs
the guitar plays along

and were fine
cause we have each others company
all friends together
nothing can bring us down
nothing could kill this moment

untitled

i neednt be lectured or given the eye
i dont need you shouting
calling me a liar
i cant deal with the aggrovation
the spits and the spats
no i just dont need none of that

you cant oppress us

you bring us down with your lies and guilt
you sweeten us up to cover the filth
you oppress the weak to get your own way
now my trust is feeling betrayed
and i just want you to go the fuck away

cause i cant be fooled into this
i cant feel made to serve your every whim
cause im not dim
you'll never win
im stronger
than you ever imagined

amy and simon i really didnt mean it...

he slammed the doorin my face
he told me to go the fuck away
im not surprised to tell the truth
especially when he causght me with ruth!
i mean i love him to bits
indeed i do
its just the fact she makes me swoon
the curves
the hips
the way she moves
makes me feel over the moon
its not that he cant do well
its just a well formed woman gives me horn

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

will smith-chasing forever

Early mornin' wake up
Gently with the Caress on your hand
And that Kimono that I bought you on my trip to Japan
Sunshine peekin through the venitian blinds
Four years, and like wine, you got finer with time
I got a question, if the prodda dressin and the Gucci
All got goes, and the freeze on the Lucci
I mean real bad girl, I'm talking rougher than rough
Do you think it'd be enough if we just had us?
Don't answer quick, think about it cause I'm askin for real
Golddiggers goin' to hear this song drivin and crash at the wheel
Forever is a long time, so far we gettin along fine
No car I ever drove, no ice I ever saw
No music I ever made, ain't nothin I wanted more
We could deal with whatever together
Sunshine, all that other weather, when we chasin forever

[Chorus:]
I wanna stay with you forever
I wanna spend all my life with only you
I wanna stay, lets stay together
Chasing forever, with only you

Chasin forever, a buckwild, endeavorous scene
Should we pursue with somethin real or just chasin a dream
Or casin' the scene
Fore I die I plan
To see your soul and eternity in the palm of my hands
Now as a man, there's certain things I'm lackin for sure
But I'm committed to growin and coming at you mature
In the future, I know it ain't gonna be all good
But when we feelin the hurt, if we willin to work
The eight ball will never turn to see us behind
Though I ain't no knight, and my armor don't shine
My mom said the lynch pin of love is trust
An taught me monogomy is uh, monogamous
Plus, for you dinner by candlelight
Now don't commit before you sure you understand me right
It's a race to a strange place, most see never
It's a chase we gotta make together, forever

[Chorus]

Now you would think after all my heartbreaks I'd be cruel
Hiding behind my ego, evil but no
Much the contrary, I'm very much certain
You searchin for joy, it's on the other side of hurtin
Finally found a person, worthy of all
Instead of pushin me down, you wanna cushion my fall
Your eyes could make the sun rise, all the birds sing
Seal it with a kiss, bind it with a ring
More carrats than even bugs could eat in a week
An the ribbon in the sky, close your eyes don't peek
I'll tell you what I see in the future
A hacienda so cute with, five little kids callin you mom and callin me dad
Havin more good times than JJ had
Judging by the look in your eyes, you see it
Let no man sever, welcome to forever

we met by chance....

like careless angels we fell with broken wings
into each other
sailed pirate ships both with hidden treasure
into each other
we crash and burned like shooting stars colliding
into one another

clouds they slowly merge together
like you and me
i feel like i can finally breathe
when were together
and the words i speak tonight
is to tell you that i love you,
forever...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

reel big fish- good thing

I never felt too good but in this world who would
I was always thinkin’ somethin’ wasn't right
But then you came along and helped me sing a song and
now I feel ok I hope it can stay- this way

You know we've got a good thing goin' and I don't wanna see it end
You know we've got a good thing goin' and I don't wanna see it end
Are these the good days that I've heard so much about-
there goes the heartbreak that I can live without
I've been so frustrated, bitter, mean, and jaded
I've taken for granted all the things I've got
But now that you are here this anger disappears
and I feel happy too this is sappy but it's true

You know we've got a good thing goin' and I don't wanna see it end
You know we've got a good thing goin' and I don't wanna see it end
Are these the good days that I've heard so much about there goes the heartbreak
that I can live without

Friday, September 09, 2005

bright eyes-the calender hung itself

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more that you won't ever see
but most hold inside yourself eternally.
I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In everycity, memories would whisper, Here is where you rest.
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me.
They reminded me of yours.
In a story told she was a little
girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field
and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy when the skies are gray
You make me happy the skies are gray and gray and gray.
Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest
with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.

bright eyes- neely o'hara

Bright eyes- "Neely O'Hara"

in the morning
when you throw up water
and your skin turns a pale pale yellow
well everyday you lose more color
do you think that someone paints your mirror?
so you think that things sound different
at the time when you speak
well there are visions much clearer than these blurs that you see
and like neely o'hara you swallow your sleep
and wake up in the morning
to find you are not who you used to be
you don't recognize the behavior
or the spelling of your name and the shape that is in the mirror
well you'd swear it is not the same
and like neely o'hara
you swallow your sleep and you really can't remember
but you know you are not
think you are not
no you are not who you used to be

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

christina milian- when you look at me

"When You Look At Me"
Tell me who do you think you see
You’re standing in your corner looking out on me
You think I’m so predictable
Tell me who do you think I am
Looks can be deceiving
Better guess again
Tell me what you see
When you look at me

You’re probably thinking that I want those things
Cash, cars – diamond rings
Thinkin’ on my side the grass is green
But you don’t know where I have been
I could be a wolf in disguise
I could be an angel in your eyes
Never judge a book by it’s cover

I could be a crook or your lover
I could be the one or the other
If you’d look beneath you’d discover
You just don’t know me!

You look at your neighbor thinking ‘what a guy’
Cuz he’s got a 9-5
And I bet that you don’t realize
He stalks you while you sleep at night
Yet you’re scared of the homeless guy
Think he’s gonna wanna start a fight
Never judge a book by its cover

(Talk) Now tell me, who do you think I am? Huh?
You don’t even know me
Well did you think about this

Thursday, August 25, 2005

beginning of my detective thriller

this is the middle of a story i started to write it may seem a bit fucked up but its one of my darker horror writings sorry for the awful punctuation btw its still a work in progress :p

She took a deep breath, then smiled and carried on walking. You don't expect a normal Monday morning to be so stressful, but Carrie had no choice, and this, she found was the best way of dealing with it. Walking down the dark corridor she could hear shouting in the distance it was getting louder as she made her way to her office. Same old room, desk full of clutter, stained coffee mugs and filing cabinets making the room seem like a prison cell, But what was in those filing cabinets was worse than prison, it was worse than hell. She slumped herself into her chair waiting for the shouting to die down, she knew it was her turn next, it was routinal, it also seemed to wake her up a little more so in that sense she was grateful. Stamping feet could be heard charging down the corridor at a rapid pace, this was it. 'ARMSTRONG' damn here he comes, his round stomach filled the doorway, he was a short man with thinning hair and an unsightly moustache. It was the main topic of the jokes that were passed around the offices and yet in the five years that Carrie had been working here she had never seen him catch any one of the culprits making the jokes. Some head of police he was.
'I WANT A FULL SCALE ON THIS O.K? NO SKIPPING ANYTHING LIKE YOUR LAST REPORT', why couldn’t he just talk like normal people?
"Yes chief I’ve got it all under wraps this time and I’ve got cooper helping me out on the job" now this was one answer she knew she was going to get a big seeing to about
"YOU BETTER MAKE SURE THAT DAMN KIDS ON HIS TOES OR ITS YOUR NECK ON THE LINE I DONT WANT HIM MUCKING UP LIKE THE LAST TIME YOU TWO WERE PUT TOGETHER" what he didn’t know was that it was Carries fault he screwed up.
"I'll put him in his place you can count on me chief" she stared at him for a few minutes then he turned and grumbling to himself he stomped out of the room ready to harass his next victim just down the hall, she thought to herself, poor hunter its his turn for a rollicking next! She laughed to herself. Suddenly the door swung open. She could see it was going to be one of those busy days today but to her surprise it was Cooper. He came and sat on her desk
"ready to have some fun?" he stared at her seductively with his dark blue eyes, his soft dark hair flowing past his eyes to his nose "you know I’m always up for some fun and games with you" she gave him a sexy smile got up from her desk and then walked towards him he waited for her to come close enough until he had the chance but she brushed past him towards the filing cabinet.
"Dammit Carrie why are you always leading me on?" with a frustrated look upon his face
"Because you’re a cop you’re supposed to chase after the bad girls" she gave him a wink and pulled out the file
"Now lets get down to business" his eyes glowed and he gave a cocky comeback "on the desk then?" she rolled her eyes "is that all you ever think about?" he paused for a moment thinking to himself
"Well would you like to know what I'm thinking about doing to you now?" She sighed
"No thank you remind me never to ask you that question again, will ya?" he looked with a disappointed face
"At least I can say I tried" she opened the file and he moved over closer to her to get a look at the contents of it. "Do you remember the address of ed and Sophia Moore? Cause we have to pick them up for questioning today" he stared at the ceiling
"Uh.....I have it in my office somewhere let me go check"
He walked out of the room and Carrie couldn’t help but stare at the uniform, covering his muscular body, walk out of the doorway of her office. She twiddled her thumbs waiting for his return staring at the ceiling she thought to herself how much better it would be if she was sat at home with a cup of tea in front of the TV or better still in bed with someone laying next to her keeping her side warm. She longed to have a partner but the thought of committing herself was unthinkable. He strolled back in with a small post it note in his hand but she didn’t stare at his hand she stared at his face she knew that she was falling for him but he was young and her work partner, it would never had worked anyway she wouldn’t want it to not after what had already happened to her.
“Save it in your phone I’ve had enough of all the prank calls I get back, it’s ridiculous” she smiled at him in a daze and then realised what she was doing. She snapped back to reality and snatched the post it off of him. She shoved it in her pocket and walked towards the door. “What are you waiting for?” she slid out of the door and with that James Cooper rushed out, following after her.

The homely looking, light painted room, had something wrong with it. She walked through the door and instantly recognised what had gone on. It was drenched in blood. There was a body on the floor and the remnants of it were trawled across the cream coloured, dirtied carpet. There was also a body laid over a sofa it didn’t move. Moving closer towards it, it was plain to see the body had been decapitated but rather than a clean slice through the neck you could see that it had been hacked off so violently that you could tell the murderer was not your average sort of guy and you could tell the victim had gone through some immense pain. The cases that Amelia had dealt with before were pretty tame compared to this and this was only the living room. She made her way into the kitchen and found another body sprawled across the kitchen table it was laced in blood which dripped off the large oak piece in the middle of the room. Amelia noticed that in the two rooms that she had entered, although you could see the bodies, they had no heads. Such an incident didn’t usually happen in her line of work. She remembered back to a few years ago when she had to check out a shooting, when she read through what had happened at the house, it was like nothing she could have ever imagined. She entered the scene of the crime and found that a mother and son had been forced into a corner with bruises all over their bodies. The mother had clenched to the young boy screaming for the man to kill her and to leave her son alone, but by this time they had both been shot in the head. Daddy didn’t like it that mummy had lied to him about who his ‘son’ was and obviously made an attempt to attack the biological father after killing them but didn’t get the chance after police caught him out through the work of forensics on his wife and her child’s body. Amelia shook her head trying to forget the memories of that day it had left her with nightmares for weeks and she used to always check at her daughters crib to make sure she was ok. The biggest fear in her life was losing her baby and after the things that she had seen in her line of work she was always afraid of what the world would do to her. After searching the kitchen for the head of the battered corpse on the kitchen table and not discovering anything she turned to the next door and slowly moved towards it to see what would be behind it. Again there was more bloodshed. A familiar voice full of concern cried out to her “Amelia I need you to come take a look at this” she slowly turned and walked out of the room feeling a little nervous of what she was going to have to face next.

She gave him a cold look and whispered something into his ear. They seemed suspicious they weren’t giving clear facts but she decided she had to give them the benefit of the doubt due to the fact that they had just found out that their sons girlfriend had been killed. “thank you for your time anyway” she got up and signalled for James to follow her “we’ll give you a call” they both left the room and looked at each other “was it just me or was there something not right with them” she looked at him for the answer “just you” she scowled and found that his answer wasn’t the one she was looking for “you judge people too quickly remember we don’t know the whole of the story or facts yet were just giving information and trying to get something back from it” she knew he was right but didn’t want to admit it one day he would be a good cop but for now he was just a minor in the station and he had no right to accuse her of being wrong he knew no different. He walked out of the room and Carrie couldn’t help but stare at the uniform, covering his muscular body, walk out of the doorway of her office. She twiddled her thumbs waiting for his return staring at the ceiling she thought to herself how much better it would be if she was sat at home with a cup of tea in front of the TV or better still in bed with someone laying next to her keeping her side warm. She longed to have a partner but the thought of committing herself was unthinkable. He strolled back in with a small post it note in his hand but she didn’t stare at his hand she stared at his face she knew that she was falling for him but he was young and her work partner, it would never had worked anyway she wouldn’t want it to not after what had already happened to her.
“Save it in your phone I’ve had enough of all the prank calls I get back, it’s ridiculous” she smiled at him in a daze and then realised what she was doing. She snapped back to reality and snatched the post it off of him. She shoved it in her pocket and walked towards the door. “What are you waiting for?” she slid out of the door and with that James Cooper rushed out, following after her.

The homely looking, light painted room, had something wrong with it. She walked through the door and instantly recognised what had gone on. It was drenched in blood. There was a body on the floor and the remnants of it were trawled across the cream coloured, dirtied carpet. There was also a body laid over a sofa it didn’t move. Moving closer towards it, it was plain to see the body had been decapitated but rather than a clean slice through the neck you could see that it had been hacked off so violently that you could tell the murderer was not your average sort of guy and you could tell the victim had gone through some immense pain. The cases that Amelia had dealt with before were pretty tame compared to this and this was only the living room. She made her way into the kitchen and found another body sprawled across the kitchen table it was laced in blood which dripped off the large oak piece in the middle of the room. Amelia noticed that in the two rooms that she had entered, although you could see the bodies they had no heads. Such an incident didn’t usually happen in her line of work. She remembered back to a few years ago when she had to check out a shooting, when she read through what had happened at the house, it was like nothing she could have ever imagined. She entered the scene of the crime and found that a mother and son had been forced into a corner with bruises all over their bodies. The mother had clenched to the young boy screaming for the man to kill her and to leave her son alone, but by this time they had both been shot in the head. Daddy didn’t like it that mummy had lied to him about who his ‘son’ was and obviously made an attempt to attack the biological father after killing them but didn’t get the chance after police caught him out through the work of forensics on his wife and her child’s body. Amelia shook her head trying to forget the memories of that day it had left her with nightmares for weeks and she used to always check at her daughters crib to make she was ok. The biggest fear in her life was losing her baby and after the things that she had seen in her line of work she was always afraid of what the world would do to her. After searching the kitchen for the head of the battered corpse on the kitchen table and not discovering anything she turned to the next door and slowly moved towards it to see what would be behind it. Again there was more bloodshed. A familiar voice full of concern cried out to her “Amelia I need you to come take a look at this” she slowly turned and walked out of the room feeling a little nervous of what she was going to have to face next.

She gave him a cold look and whispered something into his ear. They seemed suspicious they weren’t giving clear facts but she decided she had to give them the benefit of the doubt due to the fact that they had just found out that their sons girlfriend had been killed. “thank you for your time anyway” she got up and signalled for James to follow her “we’ll give you a call” they both left the room and looked at each other “was it just me or was there something not right with them” she looked at him for the answer “just you” she scowled and found that his answer wasn’t quite the one she was looking for “you judge people too quickly remember we don’t know the whole of the story or facts yet we’re just giving information and trying to get something back from it” she knew he was right but didn’t want to admit it one day he would be a good cop but for now he was just a minor in the station and he had no right to accuse her of being wrong he knew no different in her eyes “id stay quiet if I were you I think I have more experience in this game than you’ll ever have and you have to remember that im the one who will be filing your report to the head so I wouldn’t get on the bad side of me if you know what I mean” she turned on her heels and walked down the street.

‘Wow she has a nice ass’ he stared as she wiggled down the street the relationship between them was a confusing one given the circumstances. He had lusted after her the day that he arrived but she always seemed on/off with him from day one. One minute she was nice and the next she was a total bitch, which was probably the thing that turned him on most about her. She was feisty and good looking which is what he had always wanted in a woman the only problem with her is she was so unpredictable. She wasn’t the kind of women which he wanted to end up 20 years down the line with. He thought to himself while traipsing slowly after her how he had always longed to find a girl who was the type that wanted to settle down and raise a family how Carrie wouldn’t fit the persona but would be great if she did because she was one hell of a beautiful women. Trying to control himself was hard, especially after everything that happened. But personality wise she was very bossy and controlling and generally a bit of a tease she was a bad cop everyone around the station knew it yet he just couldn’t resist. She was just a big tease but that’s where James had the advantage he knew she had a bit of a soft spot for him although he never would have imagined things would have turned out the way things did.

The night it all happened James had gone to the Chief’s birthday party with Jason Hunter who he had been assigned with on his first case. He noticed Carrie from across the room her perfectly placed hair graced her porcelain face her glimmering eyes and her curvy body wrapped in a slinky black little dress but she was surrounded by guys so he paid no attention. Drinks started getting heavy and everyone started getting very rowdy, so when Carrie decided to get drunk and flirt with half the force there was bound to be trouble. He remembered how she lost the sparkle in her eyes and a glaze took over, she started to lose control of herself and slur her words she was a wreck. James had been watching her all night and how she flirted with them, but then turned away, not wanting any attention even through her state of half drunkenness and so when he saw five of his work colleague’s drag her out of the hall he thought it a bit suspicious as to why she would want to go back with them after pushing them away. He crept down the corridor away from where the party was being held following their every move as they slithered outside onto the streets. By this time it was late and there was a wallowing dark outside with only the dim streetlamps lighting the way. The five men seemed to grasp at Carrie trying to keep her upright as her legs caved in on themselves they dragged her limp body down an alley and through a park until they came to what looked like a set of grubby council estates. James’ mind was spinning what the hell was happening where were they taking her? He crept towards the door of the flats and pulled the door open, as it creaked, he heard screams he could tell it was Carrie he jumped up the stairs as fast as possible in a weird sense of worry that shot through his body like a stream of machine gun fire. His assumptions were right she wasn’t willingly with them. It made him sick to his stomach knowing that men of trust, of honour, of law could even think of such a thing let alone attempt it; he had to stop them no one deserved to have that done to them. He paced the corridor he couldn’t let them know he was here and if he did he had to make it out that he wasn’t there to go against them. He heard thumps and muffled noises from a door marked 175 he had to think of a plan of action he couldn’t barge in and hurl accusations around it would make the situation worse and he would not be able to hold down 4 members of the police force by himself. He slipped through the door carefully trying not to make any noise and walked into the room where the men were laid on the bed with Carrie half naked her eyes half open and she seemed like she was trying to move away from them “Hey guys, is it ok if I hang with you lot? The party started to get boring”
“Sure whatever” he sat on the bed as he watched them fondling Carrie as she tried kicking them away one grabbed her arm and pinned her arm to the bed as another grabbed at both her legs and held them to the bed he felt sick having to watch this but knew he had to wait
“Quick grab her other arm” another man forced her arm onto the mattress as she slurred something which was unrecognisable he knew he had to think fast
“Her guys she isn’t going to come out of the rest of her clothes easily let me sort her out” they were quite drunk he could see it in their eyes; he might be able to pull this off if his timing was right. “just get her fucking clothes off this tart is waiting for a screw you can see it, its not like she’d say no to any of us” there was no remorse in their faces they were making excuses to do this James felt like he was going to be ill he could she there was tears streaming down Carries face she knew she didn’t have a chance against them the best way would be to let them get it over and done with she didn’t have the agility or energy to try to escape. He lifted her up and dragged her to the bathroom locking the door behind him. Looking out the window he could see there was a small balcony below that was easy to climb down to this was the only way out as long as he could lift her down there then they couldn’t get her. He covered her mouth in case she thought she was going to scream he came close to her ear pulled across her blonde hair and whispered “don’t worry I wont hurt you I’m getting you away from them assholes” her eyes seemed to calm down she gave a weak smile which he could feel on his hand “play along with me ok?” she nodded her head “you bitch take them off TAKE EM OFF” he screamed at the door for the officers to hear “no leave me alone” James kicked the toilet seat “TAKE EM OFF” he edged her onto the window and lifted her down to the balcony that seemed a hell of a lot farther away than he realised she landed sharply onto it and sat waiting for James to rescue her. “Hurry up man we haven’t got all day, don’t knock her out we want to get some action out of her” he knew he’d have to stall them for time. “I got to try and rip them off she isn’t going to get out of them easily” he called to her to scream she screamed from the bottom of her throat and then heard her collapse onto the floor shit not now he climbed out of the window onto the balcony and lifted her head Carrie we’re going to get out of this together. He lifted her to the next balcony and came to the elevator which they took to the bottom floor thank god we got out. He heard banging down the stairs shit they must of realised he looked over and found a ford escort which he knew would be easy to hot wire it was the only way he was going to get away from them in time he smashed the window so he could open the door good old fords the alarms never work when you want them to breaking into the car he opened the back seat and gently lifted Carrie onto the backseat before slamming the door behind her and hopping into the drivers seat. He ripped at the wires that were under the steering wheel and attempted to put the ignition wires together. He could see in the interior mirror that the cops were running out of the doors towards his car if they got him now they would kill him without a second thought they were cops, they could easily get rid of evidence that this night had even happened, and that was what made them the most dangerous peoples in the world. He fiddled at the wires trying desperately to get the car to start. And this is the major disadvantages to a ford. They ran closer to the car at an alarming rate but the car engine began as they seemed no more than a few feet away and he hit his foot to the accelerator speeding the car out into the distance leaving the cops with nothing but vague memories of that night and a cloud of petrol smoke with the dirt and dust flying into their faces. He never saw their faces in the station again. He was glad he didn’t because he would have never known what he had done to them if he was alone with each one of them.

It was covered over the walls, ceiling, floor, furniture you name it, there was blood on it. The whole of the upstairs loft conversion was a graveyard there was heads everywhere and they were obviously from the bodies downstairs but it didn’t add up there was more heads than there were bodies downstairs. Where the hell were the rest of the bodies? The most amazing piece in the room though was the mural painted on the wall it was covering the whole of one wall and had pictures of what looked like children who were crying, reaching out to what looked like two buildings. The twin towers. The worst was that the pictures were painted in the blood of the corpses. “Oh my dear god” Amelia could feel the hurt inside her this was room was unbelievable and whoever had done this had a serious mental problem. “We still haven’t located the other 30 bodies that belong to the heads in here apart from the three bodies that are downstairs one in the kitchen one in the living room and one in the dining room” throughout the whole of the time that Amelia had known Clint she had never ever seen him shed a single emotion in the light of everything that he had seen for the 5 years she had been associated with him.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

blog for my writing

i have decided im gonna use this to store all my poems and writing and stories and stuffs and maybes lyrics i like too wud probs also be easier for when i start doing creative writting again so yeah hopefully il gtet things posted up soon for you all to laugh at hehe :)